Sorry for the dearth of posts. I’ve had kind of a rough Thanksgiving, been feeling sort of angst-y since then. I need to put thoughts to keyboard, and will do so soon. Meanwhile something came up at work that I wanted to discuss with you, my faithful readers. I see you out there, visiting my blog in amazing numbers. I need your opinion. I’m hoping I can get some comments about this. Inquiring minds want to know!
Since I am not Black, African-American, “of color,” whichever is the correct verbiage, I can’t fully understand the emotional meaning behind some of these words that might offend someone who is Black.
That being said, in my opinion, our employee is being completely ridiculous about the whole thing.
I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me tell you what happened, and you can tell me whether or not you think this Black person overreacted. I’d especially like to hear from anyone who is Afrian-American, because truly, as a white person, I may not fully understand the nuances.
Here’s what happened:
During a staff meeting a couple of weeks ago, the employees were all sitting around chatting before it got started. They are all white, except for this one employee, M, who is Black.
During the course of this conversation, they were laughing about one of the folks who attend our program, who had been goofing around and being silly. One employee said, “He was jumping around like a monkey!” Now, mind you, they were NOT saying that M was “jumping around like a monkey.” They were referring to a service recipient. The service recipient is white. The conversation was in no way directed at M, about M, other than M was in the same room when the conversation took place.
Apparently, M took great offense to this and complained to his supervisor that he was being harassed and that they had said it “on purpose” to indirectly call him a monkey.
Now, I realize that if someone had pointed at M and called him a monkey, that would have been really offensive, almost as offensive as the “N” word. Any employee who ever does such a thing would have had appropriate disciplinary measures.
However, tossing around in a group conversation that someone “acted like a monkey” and thinking that was offensive and directed at him seems a bit ridiculous to me. Is it not PC to use the word “monkey” in front of a Black person? Even in casual conversation? That seems a little over the top to me.
To me, it is as ridiculous as if I were to get offended because someone said that it “crumbled like a cracker” and thinking that was a slur against me as a white person. If someone uses the word “cracker” in my presence, as part of a conversation about soup or whatever, it wouldn’t even occur to me to get offended.
Monkeys are a fact of life, monkeys exist in this life. Being careful not to ever use the word “monkey” in a sentence around a Black person seems completely ridiculous to me. Now, the “n” word is a word made up specifically to be derogatory to a Black person. There is no way you could use the “n” word in a sentence unless you were trying to be offensive. But monkey?? Come on….
I collect stuffed monkeys. I have several in my office. I also have a sign that says, “I have flying monkeys, and I ain’t afraid to use ‘em!” Am I supposed to remove those so that a Black person wouldn’t be offended??
We resolved this issue by telling M that if he ever had someone call him a monkey, to let us know and that employee would be disciplined, but that the way the word was used in conversation was not directed at him and no discrimination or harassment was done, even unintentionally.
Then, last week, a co-worker, completely innocently and unaware of the offense he took to the use of the word “monkey” in his presence, left a banana for him in his box. Turns out, she had an extra, knew that he liked bananas, and left it for him. When M found the banana, he went ballistic. When he found out what had really happened, he calmed down.
Is using the word “monkey” in a sentence in front of a Black person a no-no? Is it not okay to give a banana to a Black person? Is this completely ridiculous or, as a white person am I completely off base??
What say you?
